The confirmation finally came from a friend – my ex, who wasted 6 years of my life while IN relationship and another 5 just trying to unf*ck my brain, met the woman he’s seeing in December of 2022. Remember, when we broke up it was because he didn’t want to “cohabitate or marry”, did not want to be fully committed, did not want a relationship at all.  He said repeatedly that he wasn’t dating or interested in dating, but started dating right away.  In March of 2023, he had sent me a screenshot that included his recently used emojis, consisting of kissy faces and hearts. These lies keep stacking up, and that date just made everything come crashing down.  Nothing was true.  None of it.  Trying to maintain a friendship – lie.  Having me around was absolving him of his guilt for lying through his drunken teeth, and that was…

I found a therapist in 2019 after several on-again, off-again bouts with my now ex-boyfriend. I really felt like my own childhood trauma was preventing me from having the relationship I very much wanted, and was willing to put in the work to figure that all out. I had not succeeded in my 53 years – so I felt it was long past time to have a very serious look in the mirror. My therapist suggested we try EMDR Therapy (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), which led me to this memory. Me, as a little girl, standing in the doorway watching my father pull out of the driveway for the last time. I was 6 years old. I was a daddy’s girl. We, my brother and I, had been shuffled back and forth for every-other weekend visitation for quite a while already. I remember crying, feeling devastated, and from that…